bacchusnovels Chapter 148 is over. He's causing trouble in the kitchen again!
Chapter 148 is over. He's causing trouble in the kitchen again!
Deep in the Western Hills of Beijing, at the highest command center of the Huaxia Special Operations Group.
This is no longer chaos.
This is the end of the world.
Inside the huge circular conference room, alarms blared, as if trying to tear the eardrums of everyone present.
All the holographic screens were flashing a blood-red light frantically, a signal representing the highest level of threat.
"Report! An unexplainable ultra-high-dimensional energy reaction has appeared over the capital!"
"The energy level...has exceeded the theoretical limit! It cannot be calculated!"
"Report! Global communications are down! All military and civilian satellites are out of service! Cause unknown!"
"Report! North American Strategic Command has issued its highest war alert! Their nuclear missile silos are all ready to fire! They believe we have used space-based weapons!"
"Report! Urgent communication from Moscow! The Kremlin's 'doomsday phone' has been connected! They're asking if we want to go down together!"
"Report! The Holy Light Barrier of the Vatican in Europe has been fully activated! The Pope has proclaimed a 'miracle' in St. Peter's Square!"
One after another, urgent intelligence reports, enough to instantly rewind the world to the Stone Age, flooded into the command center like an avalanche.
More than a dozen high-ranking officials, who were just immersed in their dreams, are now slumped in their seats.
Their faces were deathly pale, their body temperature seemingly drained away by fear.
All eyes were fixed on the holographic screen, on the last frame of footage transmitted back by the satellite before it lost contact.
The skies above Beijing.
That magnificent, vast, yet majestic sea of stars.
Everyone's heart seemed to be gripped by an invisible hand, and stopped beating.
It’s over.
This is a thought shared by everyone.
The end of the world... has come?
"Li...Li Zhenguo..."
The old general, with his gray hair, trembled, his voice dry and hoarse, like rust being forced out of his throat.
"You... quickly... quickly contact... that person..."
He didn't even dare to say that name.
He feared that if he spoke out, he would incur divine punishment.
Li Zhenguo stood in the very center of the command center.
He didn't panic like the others.
His face showed no panic, only a calm mixed with numbness and despair, beneath which lay the bitterness of "I knew it."
He silently picked up the red satellite phone, the one he used specifically to contact Lin Fan.
He didn't even need to guess.
He knew that, in the whole world, no one but that man could possibly cause such a commotion.
He just couldn't understand it.
What's the reason this time?
Last time, for the sake of a pot, the world's top intelligence organization "Area 52" was almost wiped off the face of the earth.
The time before last, because of a plate of stir-fried cabbage with vinegar, the dead trees in an old alley in Beijing all bloomed, shocking the biological world.
This time... he really blew the sky apart. Why?
Could it be... that he's finally fed up with this world and is preparing to reboot the universe?
With the feeling of "giving his last words," Li Zhenguo dialed that number.
The phone rang for a long time.
Each sound is like a death knell tolling on human civilization.
Just when Li Zhenguo thought the other party would not answer again and was preparing to destroy the hope of all mankind,
The call went through.
"Feed? Who is it? It's so noisy!"
On the other end of the phone came Lin Fan's lazy voice, which was filled with displeasure.
"Can't you see I'm busy? I'm cooking! If you don't answer soon, my minced garlic will burn!"
Minced garlic...
It's burnt?
Hearing these familiar words, full of the warmth and everyday life.
Li Zhenguo's heart, which had been in his throat, inexplicably dropped halfway back down.
He felt that as long as this man was still thinking about his trivial family matters, the world wouldn't be destroyed for the time being.
"Mr. Lin...it's me! Little Li!"
Li Zhenguo practically roared, his voice trembling with uncontrollable sobs.
"Oh, it's you." Lin Fan's tone was indifferent. "What is it now? How many times have I told you, don't keep calling if it's nothing! You're ruining my retirement! If it's nothing major, I'm hanging up. My cucumbers are waiting to be cooked!"
What's the biggest thing?
Li Zhenguo wanted to cry.
Isn't this fucking huge enough?!
The sky is about to fall!
"No, no, no! Sir! Don't hang up!" Li Zhenguo's voice trembled with anxiety.
"Sir! Could you... could you... look out the window?"
"Look out the window? Look at what?" Lin Fan's voice was full of confusion.
A moment later.
"Hmm? Why is it so dark today? It's quite beautiful, like a computer screensaver. What's going on? Is this some kind of light show organized by your government? It's quite creative, but it's a bit of a nuisance."
A light show?!
Disturbing the peace?!
Li Zhenguo felt a lump in his throat, and his vision blurred.
He used all his strength to roar at the top of his lungs into the phone:
"Sir! That wasn't a light show! That was...that was something you...you put on!"
"I caused this?" Lin Fan's voice was even more puzzled. "What did I do? I've only been slicing a cucumber since I woke up."
"Could it be...?"
Lin Fan seemed to have thought of something.
"Was the sound of me smashing cucumbers too loud? Did it damage one of your satellites?"
Li Zhenguo: "..."
In the conference room, all the bigwigs who heard this conversation through the loudspeaker were speechless.
They felt that they might not die in a nuclear war.
Instead, they will die from... a cerebral hemorrhage.
"gentlemen……"
Li Zhenguo felt as if ten thousand hands were tightly gripping his throat.
With difficulty, in a voice almost like a dream, he asked:
"What...what kind of cucumber did you just smash?"
"Just a regular cucumber," Lin Fan replied matter-of-factly.
"It's a bit transparent, with a little light inside, and it smells... well, a bit intoxicating. What's up? You want some too? There aren't any left, I just picked one and smashed it all."
"..."
Li Zhenguo silently hung up the phone.
He felt that he no longer needed to ask any further questions.
He turned around and looked at the faces in the conference room, faces filled with fear, confusion, and blankness.
His chest heaved, and then, in an incredibly calm yet unwavering voice, he gave the order.
"Pass on my orders!"
"Immediately, in the highest-level capacity, respond to North America, Moscow, Europe... and all countries and organizations that have sent us inquiries."
Tell them everything is normal.
"What happened just now was just... just that our China is conducting... a rather large-scale..."
"Agricultural Products Launch Conference"
"We...have successfully developed a new variety of cucumber that can glow."
"The press conference is now over. Thank you for your attention."
The entire command center fell into a long, eerie silence.
Everyone looked at Li Zhenguo as if he were crazy.
But no one dared to raise any objections.
Because they know that in this world, there may be no explanation that is closer to the truth, and also more absurd.